Gas

It's amazing how many people complain about gas prices when I know so many who give of their's freely

Depressed?

Are you depressed? Well have I got a deal for you! For only $93.75 I will give you my informative guide on how to overcome it! There are programs like eating a tub of ice cream, the silence treatment, and my favorite, dressing up like a goth! You will learn how to use these and other great activities to get you out of the dumps and back to the top where we belong! And if you're not satisfied (*chuckle*), sucker!

I saw an ad for UVSC today (Utah Valley State College), and it said "Proven Fact: UVSC grads make more money" So I thought, make more money than what? Other college grads, telephone repairmen, McDonald's employees, the President of the United States?

Plus they had a hot chick on the advertisement, I've been going to UVSC for over a year now, and I haven't seen a girl like that! Well actually I did, but she was married.

You got to...!

I have nothing against watching movies, it's great way to waste time that I'm already wasting. But why must people come to me and "You GOT to watch this movie because blah blah blah..." Since when did humankind become dependent on movies? I watch movies to escape, not to get addicted.

I hate it when I finally get sucked in and it turns out to be a HORRIBLE movie (eg. Ghostrider). I was made fun of for years for not watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy, so I finally bought them and tried to watch them in one sitting. I enjoyed them yes, but the hype surpassed the movie by far, so instead of seeing what everybody else saw (action, adventure, fantasy), I saw gay hobbits who couldn't stop looking at each other for long periods of time. I thought to myself, I got to watch this?

When I grow up...

When I grow up I want to be the president! Oh wait, you have to lie cheat and steal to become president, I don't want that. Maybe an astronaut! Hold on, hold on, they have to be pilots and take years of training both mental and physical that could make any normal human go insane. What about those guys who're in real estate? Up from sunrise to sunset begging people to buy your house so that you can eat? No thank you. Hey, what about an actor? Hmm...tabloids, weight perfection, wear what they tell me to wear, psychological damage from missing out of a normal life...ouch, I'll pass. A cop, definitely a cop! Oh yeah, bullies, bullets, bums, and paperwork.

Is there any work available that doesn't require work?

Us Ugly People

TV, news, magazines, internet, and the general public are all telling us that we can only be accepted if we're beautiful and handsome. So those of us who are ugly accept that and we just try to stay at home, not a problem right? WRONG! For those of us who go to school have truant officers after us, and after that we're living on our own so we need to get out and get a job.

Believe us, we're not trying to gain attention, we just want to please everyone. But the hiring manager won't hire us because we're ugly! We can't good grades from the teacher because we're ugly (even though we scored 100% on the test). World, if you really want us to stop showing our ugly faces in public, then keep us in our homes.

The worst thing is when the same TV channel ridicules a celebrity who's gained a few pounds, then talks about how great this one girl is for winning the pretty contest even though she's 100 pounds overweight. MAKE UP YOUR MIND!!!

Giving

We hear all the time that we should give to others. Well before I can give I need to receive