I want to be fired

So far I've had 10 jobs in my life, but I haven't been fired from a single one. Most people I know try to do everything they can to not get fired, I'm just the opposite. I try so hard, I really do! I end up getting those jobs that are so desperate that no matter what you do they brush it off; "Oh you ran a truck into building 3? Ha ha, Jake you're so funny."

What's wrong people?! What does a guy have to do to get fired around here!? It's time that I go on strike, I'll run around with picket signs yelling "WHAT DO I WANT? TO BE FIRED! WHEN DO I WANT IT? HOW BOUT NOW! However knowing my bosses they'll look at me and say, now stop that or we'll write a report on you. Excuse me? I just can't win, or in the case, I just can't lose

Convenience=Problems

Man has tried so hard to filter out every single problem in humans lives. Good job. But by so doing we run into more problems. It seems that life keeps balancing itself out with junk.

We created cars to prevent long distances of walking, but now we got gas prices, insurance, repairs, safety and emissions tests, tire and oil changes, other reckless drivers under alcohol fatigue carelessness or all combined. But hey, we don't have to walk anymore!

Politics, the law used to be 'Every man for himself', but now we have laws to protect and give us equal opportunities. The bad news?...*ahem*...let's just say that I feel safer walking into a New York alley at night than a politician's integrity

A Fine Doctor Indeed

So I went to the doctor today, she was really nice. She listened, she wasn't writing a prescription while I was talking, she told about my diet, and that was it.

I walked out of the room feeling like I finally found a cool doctor.

Well, they gave me my bill and THAT'S when I found out why they were 'special'

A dream of something...different

"When I become poor, I'm shaking the golden dust of my $700 shoes. That's right, it's going to be Microwavable Dinners, and powdered lemonade every night. No more of this sleeping in a bed the size of a car, nope, it's going to be a mattress and a pillow."

"You think you can stop me? Tough, I'll be poorer than you could imagine! I don't care what you or anybody else tells me, I'm going to do this! I'll get me a job shoveling dirt, flipping hamburgers, or be a teacher. I know what I want, and that's that!" Said Bill Gates jr. to his father.

Those Tired Times

Do you ever notice that when you get tired you talk a lot of nonsense? It always starts with uncompleted sentences, such as "Hey did you see that one thing about...?"

Then laughing comes into play, whatever you say becomes 10 times funnier, "Hey guys, I got red socks on my feet! Har ha ha ha ha!!!"

Of course the gibberish takes over next; it's a lot slower, your eyes are barely open, and you can't sit still, "Man, what does a guy have to do to get special soda around here? You know the kind where it ain't too bad, but it's cool, and you drink it and you're like...wow. Yeah, that special soda, from Connecticut."

Finally, you get a mixture of the three, "HA HA HA, your mom eats cow! In fact, she's like a vacuum, she can...ha ha ha! But she didn't because...ha ha ha!"

Well, that's my report on being tired, join me next time when I speak about...*snore*

A tagged Jake in a box

I got tagged by Boocherhix, the challenge is to grap the closest book, open to page 123, and write the 5th sentence. Well, here's mine "What about you? Kay asked." From the God-father

I hereby tag Adam Borg, and the next person to view this blog (but not Boocherhix)

Worst Image

One of the worst images in the world is a full moon! You know what I'm talking about